Question: "What does the title of this blog mean?"
Answer: It's just something I say a lot.
It's used to express a strong reluctance to perform some task, extreme displeasure at some situation, or baffled disbelief at the fact that whoever I'm talking to would actually think I would ever do X, Y, or Z thing that they're suggesting I would do. I tend to think of it as a particularly pointed response in the negative.
It's not always applicable or appropriate. There are only certain degrees of instances where you should use it. For instance,
"Hey, they just opened a clothing-optional octogenarian beach resort downtown. Wanna go?" <----- APPROPRIATE.
"I have this mildly inconvenient thing I'd like to show you for 3
minutes." <----- NOT BAD ENOUGH.
"We're increasing your rent 7000%" <----- GREEN LIGHT.
"Hey! Would you like a gallon of free ice cream served off of Hugh Jackman's bare abs?" <----- NO.
"ZOMFG MATH IS TEH SEXORZZZ" <----- MAYBE SAY IT TWICE.
I like to think I invented it. I probably didn't. Nonetheless, I'm the only person I know who says it,a and that needs to change. Carry the torch, children. Turn this little platitude into the next linguistic phenomenon. You can do it!
Make it happen, Cap'n.
